Physical Update

While we’re talking about mundane day-to-day sorts of things, let’s have an update on how things are going physically, hm?

Footwear
I’ve moved strictly to slip-on wear 24/7 nowadays.  I think I COULD tie my shoes if I wanted to, but thought I’d go ahead and save myself the struggle from here on out.  This means I wear my Crocs (in a respectable Chocolate color) pretty much all the time – walking to/from work, walking the dog, on the weekends, etc.  I change into some manly Sketchers Jesus sandals when I get to work, to avoid being that person at work with Crocs, of which we frighteningly have several in the department.

Clothing
I’ve got a good clothing rotation going on these days.  Oh sure, it means I have to wear 3/4 sleeves two out of five work days, but that’s something I’ve come to peace with recently after I learned that the bass player from Death Cab for Cutie only wears 3/4 sleeves on stage.  I had no idea when I wrote about such clothing success two months ago that those cargo pants/shorts and muscle undershirts would make up 90% of my daily wardrobe when I’m out in public.  The other 10% accounts for the weekends and evenings, when I can still wear a majority of my t-shirts and sweats.  I’m still wearing my same arsenal of pre-pregnancy boxer shorts, so no need for maternity underpants yet.  In TMI news, I’m sleeping naked these days, since I don’t see the point in buying maternity pajamas and, well, I don’t mind being naked.  So there.

Hiccups
No, not me – Vegas!  That kid is a hiccuping fool.  Typically, they last from anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes.  Considering I can’t suggest that he drink nine swallows without stopping, or eat a tablespoon of peanut butter, he and I suffer through them until it gets worked out.  Since we’re (me, wife, OB) relatively certain his head has dropped, it explains why the hiccups feel as if they’re coming from the lowest part of my belly.  It feels like an internal pulsing/throbbing/thumping – unfortunately, they’re not visible from the outside yet.  His favorite times to hiccup are in the morning right when I’ve gotten to work, or in the middle of the night, in an effort to wake me up, for sure.

Twitch
I have a pretty persistent twitch in my left eye, which my wife assures me is not visible to onlookers.  Thank goodness.  Since I’m sleeping OK these days (as in, mostly through the night), and it’s not caffeine related, it’s most likely pre-baby panic and mania.  It gets better when my wife talks to me in soothing tones, or if we’re making a to-do list, and then get some of it to-done.

Pain in the Ass
Literally.  I’m having some sciatica pain in the left side of my ass, which makes me waddle when I walk.  Who knew that the pregnant waddle can be brought on by ass pain?  Tylenol and the rice sock to the rescue.

In other news, I need a haircut and another prenatal massage STAT.  My to do list for today consists of setting those up, so I can look and feel more presentable as we’re coming down the home stretch.  At least the waves of panic are off-set by equal waves of excitement in meeting Vegas.  I really can’t wait to see that kid’s face.  I can’t wait to know if it’s a boy Vegas or a girl Vegas.  I also can’t wait to drink a beer and lift something really fucking heavy, but all in due time.