Very Big Things

On Monday, we put our cat Sol to sleep (he was Very Sick) and my sister moved  into my basement.  Both Very Big Things.

My sister got a job here in town – she’s leaving her husband, being evicted from her home there, and bringing her two high school-aged kids to live with us next week while we wait for her apartment lease to begin (which, to everyone’s horror, doesn’t have an exact date yet.)

RR hates her new camp.  It’s loud and busy and all she wants to do sit in the corner by herself and draw, sing, or play make-believe with some stuffed animals… or some rocks. She does NOT want to do your Obligated and Scheduled Fun, thankyouverymuch.  She DOES want you to leave her the fuck alone.  She’s on week two (out of three) of being off from That Particular Camp That All Children But Mine Love, will head to a half-day camp next week, and then back to TPCTACBML for five consecutive weeks, before starting her New Expensive School That I Hope She Loves on 8/29.

For the past two weeks, though, we’ve been two peas in a sometimes cranky and sassy pod.  It’s been a combination of her coming to work with me, staying with Granny (overnight, no less!!), and some days, we sneak into our bathing suit, head to the pool, and she shows me how much progress she’s made in Not Drowning.

We had a memorial for Sol last night, complete with tequila and chicken thighs.  He was loved.  He will be so missed.  I, however, already do not miss wondering if he’s dead on the back deck in the sun, or just laying still and shallow breathing.  13 years is a long time to have a cat, and nine years is a long time to have the same three animals in your house.  Talk about family.  They are our family.  His urn will go next to my mother’s.  True story.

I’m feeling better despite all this, thanks to the medication finally working its way into my brain.  Music is going amazingly well – I’m writing more and more. I’m playing with my bandmates, who are so generous, lovely, kind, talented, and I’m often at my happiest surrounded by them.  I’m making time for friends.  I’m knocking through my work with efficiency.  I need to eat better and exercise more, but don’t we all?  Except you – you look fabulous and don’t need to change a thing.

I am sad.  For my cat.  For my wife’s busy schedule.  for the delicate balance of my household which is totally being shaken up.  For my iPad battery, from which this blog post should be sponsored because it’s my last resort of keeping RR entertained at work.  We’ve done a lot of work today – the real work, the lunch work, some Montessori math work, and now the screen time work.

I am happy to see RR dance in ballet class.  To snuggle with my Alive Animals.  For friends and plans and music.  For my wife to have some days off and some down time.  To watch RR swim and to think back to memories of us at the beach.

Mid-July is hot and humid in Virginia, and it is not disappointing.  Here we are, chugging along despite the stifling feelings everywhere we turn.