Boobs!

Oh what’s new these days.  Well, we’re waiting.  And waiting some more.  As ya do.

I had a wee boob scare this past week.  Boo!  I can tell you these things, because you know more about me than most people I know in real life, right?  Right!

Long story short, it’s nothing, everything’s fine.  Last Tuesday, my right breast was acting weird, so I went to the doc, who checked it out and said it was probably something muscular, or having to do with weight loss/boob loss.  Somehow in the process of all of the obsessive self breast exams (me) and aggressive breast exam (doctor) I started having Unexplained Nipple Discharge, which was alarming AND disturbing.  Fun!  However, my annual gyno visit Monday revealed that it, also, is nothing to worry about.  Nothing like spontaneous lactation three years after you’ve last lactated on purpose!

Bodies are weird, folks.

My mom had breast cancer when she was 52, so I think I’m hyper-aware of my breasts and if they start acting up.

Oh!  I did get to feel on the “Breast Cancer Model” what breast cancer really feels like.  Really, how am I 35 and just seeing one of these?

My favorite (kind of) parts of BOTH doctor’s visits was both of them making sure that my wife hadn’t been too frisky lately.  HA!  Awkward?  And then the subsequent telling me to TELL my wife to lay off the friskiness.  I don’t think either of them said the word “frisky” but I think the horror of either/both of them thinking and then TALKING about what my wife and I do together in our naked alone time made everything that came out of their mouths sound like mush.

Breast lessons?  Cancer doesn’t hurt.  Bodies have the right to be weird for any old reason that they choose.  When all else fails, go to the doctor.  Or two.

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Posted on July 24, 2013, in medical chitchat. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Just to relate . . .I had some weird nipple discharge once and my doctor had to ask me “Do you . . .include a lot of . . .nipple play ., . .in your . . .uh . . .sex life?” We were both horrified. In my case it was also nothing, except hella awkward. Glad yer boobs are good!

  2. Oh man. Naked alone time and doctors. I can relate. It’s so not worth the effort to try and make them not uncomfortable. Glad your boobs are good.

    • It’s nice that they’re both ladies. So that makes it a little less weird? Nah – still weird.

      • HAHA! My OB was a man and he was constantly making references to the ‘dad’ and my ‘husband’. I got tired of correcting him. He was great otherwise, so I just … even though I shouldn’t have … let it go.

  3. Love the title. You have quite the way with words. Also, glad all is well. Very glad.

    In other news, I’ve nominated you for a blog award! Check out my most recent post for details. Hoping that you’ll have the time to play along.

  4. I’m relieved for you. I’ve experienced a similar momentary scare and it aint fun, trying to prepare yourself for every eventuality when at least half of them are terrifying. Go boobies!

  1. Pingback: Boobs! v2.0 | butch... and pregnant

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