Butch… and weight loss. Part Two.

Part Two –  Realistic Expectations, and I need more belts!

These two things are related, you’ll see.

Last weekend, we went shopping for Pants That Fit, to replace our current Clown Pants.  As we do with everything in our house, if you want more of something, you have to trade out for something you already have.  Example: You want that coffee mug?  OK, pick one to give to The Vets next time they come.  This ensures that our 1950’s shiny varnished knotty pine cabinets don’t collapse from the weight of every coffee mug I want.  So in order to make room for those new pants, the old pants must go!

So we packed three Vets bags full of clothes.  Maybe four.  Everything that was falling off of our hips had to be tossed.  Shirts that looked like painting smocks – gone!  So many bags.  So many happy Vets.

Of course, this sent me into a spiral of “OMFG what if I gain all this weight back!” panic.  Because, duh, that’s totally what happens, right?  I mean, I’ve been there once before.  It’s all the internet talks about.  The whole, the longer it takes you to lose the weight, the longer it will take you to put it back on.  So forgive me when I panic every time I’m down a couple more pounds.  It’s not because I don’t WANT to lose weight, I’m just convinced it’ll smack me back in the face when I see-saw the other direction.

I think to myself – I’m strong enough.  We’re committed!  I don’t FEEL tortured or deprived – I can keep this up!  Not to mention, I love the way I feel and the fact that my wife pointed out last weekend that “You can’t sit still!!!” while I worked in the yard all afternoon, ignoring my traditional NFL-watching time.  My energy is through the roof, and I find I can barely keep up with myself!  I actually look forward to sweating and getting dirty.  I look forward to learning yet ANOTHER use for almond flour or canned pumpkin.

But then I think about the fact that we’ve been spoiled here – doing this in the peak of Summer.  With ripe (and cheap) fruits and vegetables at our fingertips.  With lots of daylight and warm weather.  Looking at other fit people running and biking makes you want to run and bike!  But soon… soooooooon, it’s coming.

What’s coming?

Oh you know what’s coming.  Some of it’s already here.

Pumpkin spice lattes.  Gingerbread cookies.  Pies of all kinds.  Hot Chocolate.  Birthday cakes (2).  Peppermint sticks and Hershey’s miniatures.  Holiday parties.  Champagne and fondue.

Am I strong enough?

It’s already started.  Twice last week, co-workers have cookie-bombed my desk.  It’s awkward enough to say, “Oh – no thanks!” when offered to pick one from a plate.  But twice (!) people have shown up and thrown sweets on my desk and run off.

I was strong enough both occasions to give the goodies away to other folks, but I’m certain this will only get worse.

Mind you, it’s not that I can’t have a cookie.  It won’t kill me.  Aaaah – death by cookie!  No way, dude.  We’ve just made an agreement that treats are just that – treats.  For special occasions.  Like Thursday (tomorrow), my office is bringing in donuts for my birthday.  Totally acceptable.  Cause it’s my birthday, y’all!  But last Wednesday the 26th?  Totally not any special occasion that I can think of.  No cookie for you! … kind of.

So I’m calling that all out – I’m scared shitless of what happens next, how to make it through The Holidays, and keeping the hard work up, when cold weather and big sweaters come a-calling.

(Coming up – Part Three, AKA Not Preaching to the Choir)

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Posted on October 3, 2012, in church of paleo. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Yes, you are strong enough. You’ve totally got this. You are in this with your family and for all the genuine, long haul kinds of reasons. Get rid of the pants. They’re no longer yours anyway.

    Also my wife has the same one in/one out rule along with the irritating tendecy to ensure we know where we’re going to put something before we buy it. Smart, but not alot of fun.

  2. I don’t have anything profound to add, just that I really love when you blog about this stuff as I’m on a similar journey, minus the paleo (I eat 80% or more veggies, no sugar or flour, lots of beans and a small amount of nuts and I’m in systematic treatment for Binge and Compulsive Overeating Disorder). I’m at 161 this morning, down from 310 at the birth of our last child.

    I eat great. Huge, gorgeous salads, tons of roasted veggies, opulent and succulent fruits and berries. Breakfast this morning is 12 oz sauteed veggies with 4 oz white beans in a salsa-vinegar sauce with a huge apple. Yum.

    This is my third time losing well over 100 lbs and this is it, for me.

    I am in a size 33 jeans! Oh my god…I can just walk into any old store and buy a size 33 jeans, right off the god damn rack, like any other bloke, and pull them on and they button with no struggle and look great. I admit…I bought a pair of jeans at the thrift store the other day that I don’t need just so I could have it happen again that this is an option for me. I play pick-up indoor soccer at the Rec on Friday afternoon: last time this year, I was having a hard time walking up a flight of stairs.

    I am so familiar with the anxiety about going back. I just try to focus on how much fun I am having bopping around with the kids like a young thing. And wearing Docs because my legs aren’t fat and swollen, anymore. And getting looks (really…like getting seriously checked out…when we go out to eat in Northampton, out local dykes-are-us town).

    I am getting into lifting, too. What a rush. I LOVE lifting weights. I LOVE what lifting weights does to me. It is the BEST! (less glamorously, I also walk 4.5 miles per day and sweat like a pig)

    Hang in. You’ll be great. Have fun. Lift weights (I’m so serious). Lift your kid…I can bench-press my two-year-old now and she loves it.

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