While I was pregnant, I was fortunate enough to work alongside a woman in my office suite who was due a mere six weeks before I was. She and I complained together, waddled together, and decorated our nurseries completely different from one another. She says to me the other day, with heavy resign in her voice, “Well, I’m going to have to have another one soon here, you know…” We talked about the general pressure to have more than one child, and a weird sociological expectation that parents should have more than one. Like one of them commandments of parenthood: “Thou shall be pregnant while holding your two year old’s hand to cross the street.” and “Thou shall own a double jogging stroller (and then sell it on CraigsList).”
Now I loved being pregnant. Seriously. Loved it in all of its glorious awfulness, its morning sickness, its 3/4″ length sleeves, and its swollen faceness. I would love for RR to have a sibling to commiserate with when they realize that my wife and I are making up arbitrary parenting rules “because we said so.” I’d also love to have two kids, because it makes as easier equation for roller coaster riding, and blaming someone else when they have to put one of us in a home when we’re old.
I would NOT love, rather, having a three year old and a 14 month old like RR. RR, who is, a delightfully wonderful baby. RR, who didn’t have colic, or grow horns, or spit-up more than maybe five times in her whole life. This is simply to say, if baby #2 was anything less that COMPLETELY AWESOME, then I don’t know how I would handle having two of them. RR, who might be COMPLETELY NOT AWESOME when she’s three. Does this make me a total parenting pussy? If so, OK!
But should RR’s kids have cousins? Or aunts or uncles? Or a lot of therapy? Does it matter? Who thinks that far ahead, anyway?
For what it’s worth, my wife and I are in a good amount of agreement to stop while we’re ahead and be a three-lady family from here on out. And, honestly, I think the pressure is off a bit on those of us homos or folks having a hard time conceiving. But for the fertile hetero folks out there, it’s pressure just as real as “When will he propose?” and “He got it at Jared!”
Folks with one kid already – do you feel pressure to have another one? If so, from yourself? Partner? Family? Friends with more than one kid?
Folks with more than one kid already (ages unimportant) – did having the second (third, fourth, fifth) one completely rock your world? If so, in a good or bad way? Do you wish you had less, or more(!) kids? Was it “so worth it!”?