A comment from the swimwear post made me think out loud about my own insecurities regarding leg shaving:

How many of you are leg non-shavers?

I’m a recent non-shaver.  I know.  You’d think by now I would have let my hairy freak flag fly way before now, but I stopped at the beginning of my pregnancy, and just never started back up.

Now, I’m not a hairless wonder, so my unshaven legs are obvious.  I don’t have fine, blonde, sparse hairs that no one notices anyhow; I have dark, black, man-hairs.  Rumor has it that eventually, time will turn them into thinner, lighter versions of themselves, so I will just have to wait and see.  In the meantime, I’m finding myself incredibly self-conscious, especially wearing shorts around other shavers: during kiddo playtime with other kids, at the spray park, at music class, etc.  When RR’s favorite thing is to stand at your legs and hold onto one of them, it’s hard to think that people don’t notice.

My wife doesn’t care, she says, and I believe her.  She, however, is a hairless wonder and could go for years not shaving, and no one would notice.  Not even her leg hairs.

I used to shave mostly because I was in a band with straight boys, and oftentimes, we’d have practices in the summer, and no one wants to wear pants all the time in Virginia during July.  So my shaving routine usually surrounded band practices so that my mates wouldn’t judge.  Well, especially that one, fashion-forward, drumming mate.

But now, with no one to judge (well, no one to judge AT me), I’m embracing the world of the non-shaving, but I’m having trouble shaking that other people a) notice, and b) care.  It’s kind of like when I change into gym shorts at the gym and I’m wearing boxers.  Are people noticing my underpants? And if so, do they really care?  Probably not.  And PS, stop looking at my underpants!

But I notice… but do I care?  I might?  Will I care when I’m 50 and I’m looking through RR’s baby pictures and the first thing I notice in the picture of us at the spray park are my legs, and not her tiny tookus in a two-piece?

I’ll need to eventually either a) stop caring or b) shave.  I wonder which one…

Posted on July 8, 2011, in everyday, identity. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I hate shaving. In the summer when I finally give in and wear shorts and subject the world to the whitest legs in the world, I usually shave. Fortunately, we don’t get out much. In the winter I generally let the hair grow until feeling it on the sheets annoys me too much. Do I shave for others? Maybe some. Would I care if I saw another mom with unshaved legs – nope, but I’d probably assume she was gay, too.

  2. I haven’t shaved my legs in over 10 years. I still shave my pits though. I don’t really care and if anyone asks I just ask them why I should which usually shuts them up. Besides, it’s not usually strangers who ask, it’s just the people I know. Once I ask them why should I shave they never ask again. As for strangers, I could care less. I also wear boxers and could care less what people think when they see them in the gym or the ob’s office. I fold them proudly for my wife to hold while they check out my big pregnant belly! 🙂

  3. Pick up a razor next time you’re in the tub. You’ll know at that moment if you care or not.

  4. Your wife really wants you to be happy and know that she doesn’t even notice whether you’ve shaved unless, of course, doing one or the other makes you more yourself somehow and then she supports that. 100%.

  5. Hi!  I’ve been a lurker for a while, but your last 2 posts are dilemmas I’ve faced, so I thought I’d pop out of the woodwork and post a comment. 
    I have gone for the tankini-plus-shorts bathing suit too. It’s nice to have that as an option–and I loved your comment about not wanting to wear panties in public–that’s exactly how I feel!
    I hate the shave/not-shave dilemma.  I kind of like how my legs look when they’re shaved, but am too lazy to actually shave that often.  One solution I tried for a while was bleaching my leg hair.  It doesn’t make the hair disappear, but makes it much less noticible.  For me, that was enough to make me less self-conscious about it.  And it only had to be done every few weeks, which helped with the lazy part.Also, random funny story:  I hadn’t shaved recently and my son (age 2 1/2) looked down at my legs and said “Are you a daddy, Momma?”  Apparently, in his world, anyone who has hair on their legs is a daddy.  He was super-excited to discover (1, pale blonde) hair on his own leg too.

  6. Yeah, it does thin out and lighten up after a while of not shaving. Ask me how I know. 😀
    It’s somewhat of a conflict for me as well. I would very rarely shave before I even realized I was gay. (*rolls eyes at self*). In day-to-day life, my legs are covered anyway, but for swimming, visiting OB, etc, it was hit or miss.
    These days, when I walk my kids to school (two blocks round trip) I don’t bother getting fully dressed, so yes, I do enter a pretty busy avenue with my unshaven legs on display. But if, for example, I take on swimming, yes, I will shave. For others. I’m not at a very high level of confidence as of yet. lol. But it seems like you are, and that’s great!

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