Baby Bullets

  • We installed the car seat Sunday night without too much trauma.  We also installed a little mirror thingy that goes on the headrest so that the driver can peep at Vegas.  The second car seat base will be installed in my wife’s car sometime soon, if only to get the cardboard box it came in out of the house.
  • Babies R Us is to new parents as Lowe’s is to new homeowners.
  • What you receive from folks as baby shower gifts can sometimes surprisingly redefine what kind of relationship you have (or thought you had) with them.  For instance, my best friend from childhood sent us a pack n’ play (har har) and a bumbo.  I would have really pegged him more as a swaddle or mid-priced baby toy sort of a guy.  Now I feel like I need to write and visit more often.
  • For the first time since 1995, I am wearing a pair of panties.  It makes me shudder to even write that.  How do ladies wear these things all the time?  Good god.
  • As of Friday, my cervix was still hard, long, and closed.  It might as well also had a padlock and an ADT sign out front.  However, this morning I’m halfway effaced and dilated about a fingertip, so I suppose that’s progress.
  • The lady who was due this weekend had her baby Sunday night.
  • We’re driving up three hours (each way) this Friday to sign all of the legal papers to protect us all as much as we can from people like my family and the entire state of Virginia.
  • My overall consumption of ice, these popsicles, fresh watermelon, and chicken pad thai is very serious.  For real.
  • We still have no idea what we’d name boy Vegas.

Posted on June 8, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. You know, I’ve always liked the name “Xerxes”, but my wife rejected it, thus crushing my high school dream of giving my firstborn that name, regardless of gender. She said something about how we weren’t quite that geeky, but what I think she meant is that *she’s* not quite that geeky. We have a couple of name books that we’re working our way through, and I think they both have websites, if you’re interested.

    Also, yay on the legal stuff. I know that not everyone worries about it, but that’s something that I’m just paranoid about. I hate, hate, HATE Virginia’s laws about such things. As long as our baby is born in our state of residence, both my wife and I should be on the birth certificate here, but we’re still going to go through all the additional legal hoops, because the birth certificate may or may not be recognized by other states. And I don’t think we’re going to visit either my family (Va) or my wife’s family (Pa) until the second parent adoption is finalized. I’m really sorry that y’all don’t even have that option. Hopefully things will get better? Right? A big part of the reason that we live where we do is so that we have some legal protections, and I really hate feeling like we’re limited in where we can live because of that.

    Also, since you asked, as long as they aren’t thongs or polyester, I find panties perfectly comfortable. I’ve never quite understood how tucking boxers into pants all the time works, though.

  2. Catandcradles – I’m partial to the name Thor. And I once asked a guy neighbor in college how guys get their pants over boxers and not have it all bunch up. He just looked at me like I was crazy, apparently they don’t think about such things 🙂 My g/f and I are expecting our first baby in 6 wks here in VA, too. I’m honestly curious as to why you say you won’t visit family in VA or PA until the 2nd adoption is done. What horror do you think might happen if you do?

  3. Beth- I like the name Thor, too. I tried to talk my twelfth-grade English teacher into naming her baby Loki, but she wouldn’t go for it. Then again, she might well not have had any clue where the name came from, since she was kind of dumb. Anyway.

    As for what we’re worried about with visiting goes something like this: In the state we live in (OR), we are registered domestic partners. In the eyes of the (state) law, we are effectively married in everything but name, and have all the rights and responsibilities towards each other that entails. When we cross the state line, however, we might as well be strangers. If something bad, like, hospital-bad, were to happen to one of us, there’s no guarantee that the well person would have any say over the care of the sick/injured one. There’s no real guarantee we would even be allowed into the hospital room.

    The same extends to our future baby. We’ll both be on the birth certificate, so as far as OR is concerned, we’re both parents. In Va or Pa? Not so much. As with the domestic partnership, if everything’s fine, everything’s fine. But if something were to happen, and my wife were to be incapacitated, I wouldn’t have any legal say over the baby. As a scenario, if we were visiting my wife’s family in Pa, and were in a car accident or something, my wife’s family would likely be able to claim authority instead of me for both my wife and the baby. For that matter, if (gods forbid) my wife died or was comatose, and my in-laws decided to try to take custody of the baby, I would be facing a really nasty legal fight, and one I’m not sure I’d win. Not that I think my in-laws would do that, but people in the throes of grief do crazy things, and I’d really like that not to even be something that’s a possibility.

    However, if we’ve gone through the second parent adoption, we’re both equally legal parents no matter where we are. The baby will (or at least should) be mine in the eyes of any hospital or state court, just as much as s/he will be my wife’s.

    And the point of all this isn’t that we think anything bad *will* happen, just that we know it’s a possibility. And neither of us wants to make a bad situation worse, you know? Not everyone worries about the same things, and I respect that. If we both still lived in Va we might be more inclined to do what we could, legally, and just cross our fingers. But as it is, I think both of us will feel more comfortable staying in-state until we’re both fully legal parents everywhere.

    Um, sorry that was really long-winded.

  4. Catsandcradles – thanks so much for the reply. We’ve spent $2500 on all sorts of legal documents hoping to cover all we can. I worry about lots of things, but I guess I’ve gotten a little better and don’t worry too much about those worst case scenarios. We don’t necessarily intend to stay in VA forever, we’d love to move back to Austin. All we can do is all we can do.

    Hope the adoption goes smoothly!!

  5. Beth- You’re certainly welcome. As I said, I think that if my wife and I still lived in Va we would probably do the same thing you’ve done– cover our bases as best we can and try not to worry about it. As you said, all we can do is all we can do.

    And thanks! Hope the birth and everything goes smoothly for y’all! Six weeks isn’t that long, is it? 🙂

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