Yesterday’s 36 week check-up was the first dance-off, pants-off check-up, which, you may find surprising, I was actually looking forward to.  No, I don’t have some kind of strange medical kink (although there’s nothing wrong with that), but after 36 weeks of long conversations and walks on the beach with the OB, it was nice to shake things up a bit and start paying attention to the area of my body that’s going to have the spotlight soon enough.  The taint-swab was quick and practically unnoticeable, and after some eye-widening prodding, we learned that Vegas is head-down, like a good baby.

There was no bleeding afterward, which would have been “normal,” but some definite stop-me-in-my-tracks discomfort after sitting in the car for five minutes, then getting out and walking.  My wife says I need to use my words instead of just walking along making Quasimodo faces, since that might not be the best way to communicate my discomfort.  The lady from redneck childbirth’ says that the person you are before you are in labor is the same person you are when you are IN labor, which makes me fear that I’ll be contracting and the only way to let anyone know would be through facial contortions.

We also learned that my cervix is hard and closed.  Additionally, we got the go-ahead to schedule our weekly appointments from here on out through the due date, which has caused much relief since we were able to avoid scheduling one with Dr. Georgardo.  And honestly, if he’s the one there to catch Vegas when the time comes, that works for me, but it will be nice to see other folks in the meantime.  There’s a reason his schedule is always open (cough douchebag cough), and when we were scheduling only a week out, we were finding ourselves completely screwed out of seeing anyone else.  The other OB’s are simply delightful, so I feel really good about having that set.

Tonight, we finally complete redneck childbirthin’ with a tour of the hospital.  It’ll be a little sad to say our goodbyes to the Mr. John Deer’s.

Also, see?  Racing stripe.  I think we’ll install the sucker this weekend, if only to get used to seeing it back there, and to give the dog a chance to get used to sharing his space, since he’s often in the car with us.  Maybe it will also put some of my under-prepared mind at ease.

Posted on May 27, 2010, in medical chitchat, third trimester. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. It’s hard to explain my laughter at taint swabbing to my coworkers. Perhaps I shouldn’t be reading this at work? Eh, whatever, it’s lunch time.

    Glad to hear everything else is coming together so well.

  2. Carrie Smith

    I have to agree that ‘taint-swabbing’ had induced hyper-giggling over here too.

    Btw, we had Rotties when my youngest brother was born. They were extremely gentle, but just to be sure, we all wore baby lotion for the last month or so to ensure that they got used to the smell instead of suddenly bringing home this strange, smelly creature.

  3. Okay, the Quasimodo faces sound entertaining, I have to admit. Although I can see your wife’s point as well. Do you know any sign language? Maybe you can use a few signs in conjunction with the face-making. That sounds like a reasonable compromise to me.

    Also, hooray on the no more Dr. Georgardo!

    I think that installing the car seat is a good idea. Give everyone time to adapt. I have no idea how we’re going to prepare the cats.

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