Sharing

OK seriously, Vegas, you have got to let me have at least some of that food I’m eating.  I cannot sustain on my fat supply for the next three months, but I do not have enough room in my stomach to give us both enough food during one sitting.  Which means, you stole every last ounce of my chicken parm last night, as well as the after-dinner snack of cereal.  So much so that I woke up this morning starving and missing a leg.  OK, fine.  Not the whole leg, but a good portion of it that I’m certain I had when I went to bed last night.

Listen, kiddo, your mother and I may have a lot of explaining to do if we roll in next week for the 29 week check-up and I’ve still only gained 5.5 lbs total.  That’s still 2.5 lbs DOWN from when we started all this and you made me sustain on lemon water and saltines alone for 12 16 weeks.  I can feel you eating everything I send down there – that banana, that fruit cup, those cashews.  I graze and graze, and you take and take.  I could shove a Mini Cooper down my throat and you would still not share.  I can see you growing and moving, and I can feel you float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, so I know you’re doing just fine in there.  But c’mon kid, let’s go halfsies on the banana next time, OK?  Thanks.

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Posted on March 30, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. give him a giant bowl of angel hair pasta–either with sauce or with butter/parm cheese… that ought to keep him calm. that’s how I got a baby that was almost 10 pounds at birth.

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