Be Patient

So I have a confession to make.  And oddly enough, it has nothing to do with that McDonalds hamburger I fed Vegas the other day.  Honest.  This is more anxiety-related.  Again, oddly enough, it’s not about a lot of the panic-ridden things most pregnant people freak out about as their rounding the bend towards the third trimester.  It’s more… fundamental.

I’m feeeeeling a little anxiety about being in the hospital.  Now, I am well-versed at “being” in a hospital.  Hell, for the majority of my childhood, it was practically a second home some years, as I was often doing my homework at the end of hospital hallways, or asking my grandma for a bite of her lime Jell-O.  ER’s, ICU’s, waiting rooms, you name it.  I am a hospital-visiting guru.  Booyah.

No, this is more nervousness surrounding being a patient at a hospital, something at which I am a total and complete novice.  I got my wisdom teeth out once in my early 20’s, but that was in an outpatient oral surgeon’s office, and sitting in a dentist’s chair (at least that’s where I was when they put me under).  That was also the only time I’ve been put under intravenous anesthesia.  Other than that, nada.  No tonsils out, no ER visits, no surgeries or even hint at surgeries.  I’ve broken some bones, but those were all dealt with at various urgent care centers.  I’ve not even so much had a hospital bracelet (other than the one I got when I was born), or wore a gown in a room other than a doctor’s office.  I’m totally easy when it comes to filling out pre-existing conditions forms.

This is one area where I will be leaning heavily on my hospital-patient-savvy wife to ease my freakingoutness.  Thanks, in advance, wife!  And sure, people have babies in hospitals all the time.  It’s not like it’s brain surgery (wink).  My anxiety level isn’t on such high alert that it would prompt me to consider popping this kid out at home, so really, I’m just going to have to suck it up.  It can’t be any worse than wrapping my head around potentially wearing pregnancy-induced panties (shudder) for the first time since 1995.

So it’s time to pop my hospital patient cherry.  And what better way to do so than surrounded by the people I love (my wife) and to get a present (Vegas) at the end.  Bring it.


Posted on March 26, 2010, in everyday. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Hey, I was really fucking nervous. I don’t think it’s as unheard of as we’d think – I think people just don’t talk about it. The one and only time I’d ever been under (and it was light sedation – no breathing tubes or whatever) was for the polypectomy I had, but I had that in an out-patient surgery center. J has real issues with hospitals, and I was really really nervous about it, and that IS a large part of why we wanted a birthing center birth. But in the end, we ended up in the hospital anyway. And it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. And at many points in early babyhood, I actually kind of wished we were back there, with nothing to do but mind our own business, while everything else was taken care of for us. 😉

    Anyway. Just wanted to commiserate.

  2. i hate hospitals. i really do, but maternity wards are the shining lovely places in hospitals. they really are.

    i think you need a few hospital visits. scout them out! go in advance, so you know what to expect.

  3. Listen, you know what a huge baby I am about pain, fear, etc. You also know that I am a veteran hospital dweller– as a visitor, too. But, I have to tell you, staying in the hospital was absolutely one of the top three highlights of giving birth. (first: getting the baby and second: the painkillers, ha ha…) I know I might sound nuts, but I’m dead serious. I loved being there, cared for and having help at the touch of a button. The nurses will baby you, take care of your aches and pains, and everyone will ooh and ahh over the baby and you–and the awesome thing you just did. It is one of the times I felt the safest in my entire life. I actually think back to our time in the hospital quite often and miss it a lot…. honestly. When it was time for us to go, I actually cried that I had to leave!

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