So I have a confession to make. And oddly enough, it has nothing to do with that McDonalds hamburger I fed Vegas the other day. Honest. This is more anxiety-related. Again, oddly enough, it’s not about a lot of the panic-ridden things most pregnant people freak out about as their rounding the bend towards the third trimester. It’s more… fundamental.
I’m feeeeeling a little anxiety about being in the hospital. Now, I am well-versed at “being” in a hospital. Hell, for the majority of my childhood, it was practically a second home some years, as I was often doing my homework at the end of hospital hallways, or asking my grandma for a bite of her lime Jell-O. ER’s, ICU’s, waiting rooms, you name it. I am a hospital-visiting guru. Booyah.
No, this is more nervousness surrounding being a patient at a hospital, something at which I am a total and complete novice. I got my wisdom teeth out once in my early 20’s, but that was in an outpatient oral surgeon’s office, and sitting in a dentist’s chair (at least that’s where I was when they put me under). That was also the only time I’ve been put under intravenous anesthesia. Other than that, nada. No tonsils out, no ER visits, no surgeries or even hint at surgeries. I’ve broken some bones, but those were all dealt with at various urgent care centers. I’ve not even so much had a hospital bracelet (other than the one I got when I was born), or wore a gown in a room other than a doctor’s office. I’m totally easy when it comes to filling out pre-existing conditions forms.
This is one area where I will be leaning heavily on my hospital-patient-savvy wife to ease my freakingoutness. Thanks, in advance, wife! And sure, people have babies in hospitals all the time. It’s not like it’s brain surgery (wink). My anxiety level isn’t on such high alert that it would prompt me to consider popping this kid out at home, so really, I’m just going to have to suck it up. It can’t be any worse than wrapping my head around potentially wearing pregnancy-induced panties (shudder) for the first time since 1995.
So it’s time to pop my hospital patient cherry. And what better way to do so than surrounded by the people I love (my wife) and to get a present (Vegas) at the end. Bring it.