Go Team!

One of the reasons my wife and I decided to have a kid is because we thought we’d be relatively good parents.  Doesn’t everyone?  Stop laughing.  Oh sure, we also thought we needed someone to mow the lawn, take out the trash, and take care of us when we’re old, but mostly, we thought we’d make a nice little family.  Not once did I think, oh, I’ve always wanted to be a mom.  In fact, after seeing my sister become a mom at age 18, I did everything I could to prevent ever becoming a mom, perhaps subconsciously complete with cutting out any potential physical relationship with a man.  No, the fear of getting pregnant didn’t make me into a lesbian (I have pictures of me in a button-up shirt and tie when I was 7 as proof), but it sure as hell made the coming out process a little easier.

A couple years ago, I was in some therapy, and was spending half of my time there at the end talking a lot about my identity, and slowly dipping my toes into a gender identity disorder diagnosis.  So if anything, maybe I saw myself as a dad, if I ever had kids.  Also, I think my sister’s experiences scarred me from floating through life aching for motherhood.  It doesn’t help that my mother spent (spends?)  so much time talking to me about how much better my sister’s life would have been had she not had kids.  Identity and dysfunction aside, my pregnancy often feels like a means to an end, and I’m a baby-makin’ vehicle.  Perhaps even a little surrogate-like, some days.  Definitely like the pregnant man.  The real bottom line is, I simply cannot wait to pop this sucker out and give him to my wife.  Here, wife!  I grew us a baby!  Because I can’t wait for us to be parents together, and to share in the raising of our kid together as a team effort.  Rah rah ree!

Sure, this whole pregnancy thing is beautiful and magical (complete with DDR contests in my belly at 2am), but having my wife feel Vegas from the outside every so often just doesn’t seem like nearly enough interaction between them.  I don’t know if I’ll stop feeling like a baby hoarder until Vegas enters this world and finds himself blissfully in her arms.  Well, and then it’s only a matter of time before I find them milk drunk, watching Chelsea Lately in their pajamas at 2am.

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Posted on February 22, 2010, in da family, everyday. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Good Eats is also on at 2:00 in the morning… 😉

  2. I just had my wife read this post and the GW Armies one. She had tears of laughter streaming down her face and kept saying “see! That’s me! That’s why I can’t be pregnant. What the hell ARE you supposed to wear?” I think she might be hooked on this here blog and she’s not a blogger type.

    I think your going to make a great little family. Oh, and we’re having kids for the lawn mowing and trash taking out bonus too 😉 And with all the fertility treatments we have had, our kids have some pretty hefty bills to pay off. Thats a LOT of dishes kids.

    • 🙂
      Seriously – this gives new meaning to the term, taking one for the team. Some days, I’d much rather put together a hundred pieces of IKEA furniture alone. I can only imagine it’s going to get worse and this kid packs on the pounds for both of us, so the challenges should only get more absurd. Maybe I’ll email the pregnant man and see what HE’s wearing, although every picture I see of him, he has his shirt off, which is most likely not a doable work option.

      And thanks! I hope so. With any luck, this kid will come out with his own sense of humor, and not a desperate need for his own therapy before he can talk. Hell yes, mow that lawn!

  3. I definitely feel more like a dad than a mom, and especially with my partner being a house-wife, I can’t wait to give her the baby either. I like that I go to sleep early and my girlfriend gets to hang out feeling the baby kick without my knowledge. It’s like they have special time together. She also wants another ultrasound, even though we don’t need one, and I’m going to go because she deserves to have any sort of connection with the baby that is possible.

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