In the Now
My day job consists of looking at calendars every day, and dealing with people who feel like ironing out details now (almost February) for something happening at the end of May is “last minute.” No wonder I feel our late June due date bearing down like a freight train. I’m not only planning for my maternity leave, I’m working on items dated this November and December, and attending meetings where people say things like “2011” and “2012.” My wife and I had a surreal conversation about her potentially going to a conference in October. “Well, Vegas will be four months old by then – you think I can leave you two for a few days around then?” Oh sure, I say. I have yet to even buy a belly band, much less wear one, and here we are with a four month old.
With a parade of visitors planned for February, a min-vacation in March, and the attendance of our classes/workshops extravaganza in April, June is practically tomorrow, regardless of what the weathermen are saying about Saturday’s snowstorm. There is some comfort in knowing that we have a crib, a mattress, a changing table (my wife can tell you all about it), and a plethora of newborn clothes. That’s enough to get started, right? Then there’s the constant panic by a pregnant colleague in my office suite, due in early May: We don’t have a crib yet, Where are you doing daycare?, OMG I’m number 77 on all of the waiting lists, Do you have any chocolate? Her panic reminds me to slow down. Next week, we’re halfway there, which seems like such progress, but also so many months to go. It feels so long ago that were doing tequila shots on the beach the weekend before the IUI. It also feels like we’re so early into the pregnancy something could still go wrong. No wonder I’m having trouble sleeping.
In between my bouts of pregnancy rage (RAWR!) and fruit juice cravings, I’m trying to remember to stay here in the now, instead of, well… all over the place. June will get here when it’s good and ready, and there’s not much I can do to slow down or speed up the time in between, despite my magical time-shifting powers.