more valuable than diamonds

Just about five years ago, I proposed to her on one knee, offering a diamond ring to seal the deal.  Two weeks prior to the proposal, I was obsessive about checking in on the ring, which was hidden in my dresser.  Yep, still there.  Not that I thought anyone would have stolen it, or it would have walked off by itself, but I just had this fear that I would check in on it one day, and it would be gone.  Thankfully, it stayed put and I rest easy every night seeing it on her finger.

Likewise, I wish I could constantly check in on the beginnings of our baby growing inside of me.  I can see why some people are obsessive about hearing the heartbeat and turn on full panic attacks at the site of any spotting.  I know I’m terrified every time I go to the bathroom, fearing for any sign that something has gone wrong.  But other than listening to my body and recognizing the symptoms (back ache, right boob is seriously out of control both in size and soreness, occasional internal twinges, pure exhaustion all the time), until we get into the rhythm of regular Dr.’s appointments, it’s hard to feel 100% certain that things are going well inside of my uterus.  Not like I have any feelings or indications that they’re NOT going well, I just wish I had x-ray vision to check in on this very valuable and precious cargo I’m carrying around.  Especially when folks are starting to give us baby clothes and such, I can’t wait until our first check-up to see that everything is going as it should.  One week, one day and counting.

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Posted on October 25, 2009, in ch-ch-changes. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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